Confidence Killers ~ #1 Comparison (video)

My newest video is the first in a series that I am affectionately calling, confidence killers! These are the ways in which we create blocks and obstacles that damage our self-worth.

In this first one, I discuss comparison. Unconscious comparison fosters our self judgment and sense of inadequacy. And often, we aren’t even comparing ourselves to a real person. No wonder we don’t measure up!

Want to know more?

Here’s the video:

Prefer to read instead? Here’s the full transcript: 

Do you find yourself comparing yourself to other people unfavourably? That is, looking at them and thinking if only I had what they have or I’m not as good as or I’d never be able to.

How’s that working out where your confidence levels are concerned?

Seriously, when you compare yourself to those other people unfavourably what impact is that having on your level of confidence?

In my experience as a confidence coach, I know only too well for myself and with the clients that I work with that comparison is a confidence killer. Unless you take charge of looking at that comparison for how you can help yourself, the majority of the time unconsciously that comparison is going on in a negative way.

It tends to be telling ourselves how we are less than, worse than, or wrong or a failure in comparison to and it is not always a real person that we compare ourselves to either. Sometimes it could be a friend, family member, work colleague, the person on the bus. More often than not we create these imaginary perfect people in our heads and we compare ourselves to them and say well if only I had or if I was able to then I would be as good as this imaginary person. And this imaginary person is so perfect that all it can do is highlight what we perceive as our imperfections.

So my thoughts for you today to help you grow your confidence even more, is start to hear where you are making those confidence comparisons and look at whether they are helping you or hindering you. Look at whether those comparisons that you are making are being supportive of your confidence growth or whether they are being unsupportive or actually whether they are being constructive or destructive.

And if it is any of the later of those, if it is being unhelpful, being unsupportive or even destructive of your confidence, challenge it and look to do something different. Look to do something that is going to help to build your confidence rather than kill it.