How to change how you feel.

In the flurry of today’s world, how goes things in your life?

Honestly.

How are you doing?

Have you ever noticed the platitudes used to answer this question.

“Fine”, “OK”, “Not bad”?

Not saying anything.

 

Or those who focus on what’s not right or what’s wrong.

What they or others haven’t got.

Where they or others have failed.

What they or others haven’t done.

How they or others are imperfect.

And how they are not where they should be. etc.

 

When we think, our heads fill with images, words and sounds. From there, have you noticed, that emotions start to brew and grow. Click To Tweet

 

When we think, our heads fill with images, words and sounds.

From there, have you noticed, that emotions start to brew and grow.

And without us seeing this, they guide our lives.

 

So, what has your attention now?

How do you feel?

Or how do you feel and what are you giving attention to, to create that feeling?

Is this how you want to feel?

What could have your attention instead?

What emotion could that create?

 

A few weeks back I was feeling unsettled. Really unsettled.

It took me a while to notice. Lack of productivity was a give away though!

When I noticed, I took time to look at my thinking.

What had my attention?

What was I focusing on?

What was the ‘background music’ that I hadn’t been aware of, that was creating the feeling of unsettled?

 

It’s not an easy thing to do, look at your thoughts. In fact most of the time we are taught to avoid looking into them. Click To Tweet

 

We get distracted by…

talking

consuming food/drink

over working

watching TV/media

social media

the weather (especially if you are British!)

Of course this is not an exhaustive list.

 

Our culture nurtures distractions.

But is that helpful to us to be so distracted?

 

Those times of noticing what has my attention, can be uncomfortable and seem like a break down. Often, if you can stick with it and do the work, these times become a break through.

To help during these times, I only read, watch and listen to things that are going to help me.

Whether that is because it’s a good laugh or because I can learn from it.

That includes the newsletters that I subscribe to.

 

During this time of feeling unsettled, one such email arrived with a poem that I connected with.

Perfection

Don’t be ashamed of your weakness.

Nobody ever expected you to be completely pure.

Nobody ever expected you to be completely free

of pride and greed and lust.

 

You’re not a monk or hermit, after all,

who keeps himself pure by hiding from the world.

You’re not a disembodied spirit

who has no instincts to satisfy

and no desires to control.

 

Down here, life is a teeming market place

full of stress and stimulation.

It’s not easy to stay stable

when the crowd keeps pushing and pulling.

 

It’s not easy to abstain

when the traders keep offering you goods.

Accept your impurity

even as you try to purify yourself.

 

And accept that you will never be completely pure

and that there is no need to be.

 

You are already perfect

in your imperfection.

 

Shared with the permission of Steve Taylor at https://www.stevenmtaylor.com/

 

“Accept your impurity

even as you try to purify yourself.

And accept that you will never be completely pure

and that there is no need to be.”

 

As my attention focused on that paragraph, the sense of discomfort lessened.

The thoughts came into view.

And they could be seen for what they were.

Unhelpful. Destructive.

 

Only when I could see that did I have choice.

What to give attention to, that would be helpful, that would be constructive.

 

As I say, it may not be an easy process to do.

But when you do.

You get choice.

You get to influence your emotions.

So.

How do you feel?

Honestly?

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