Are you spiritual?

I never know what to answer to this question, and I am often asked it. “Are you spiritual?”

But what does it actually mean?

What is the questioner really asking?

What do they mean by ‘spiritual’?

Recently when asked, and before I could enquire as to what was meant, the questioner continued with a part explanation.

“It’s just that you’re such an amazing person and yet you have had some really crappy things happening to you over the past few years. You don’t deserve that. You’ve given so much and helped so many people. You’re a good person. And my spiritual teachers says that we attract stuff to us. So I practise only thinking positive things and only saying good stuff so I can attract positive and good things to me. I just don’t understand why someone as lovely as you, who’s doing good things is attracting bad luck.”


Where to start?

How to respond to that?

I was part of the ‘like attracts like’ ‘positive gang’ for a number of years. My intent was similar to the above questioner. I wanted to make sure that my life only had good stuff happening in it. I wanted to stay happy. So I worked very hard at staying positive. Put a smile on my face daily and looked for the good in all situations. And yet sh*t still happened.

What was I doing wrong?

Was I an inherently bad person?

Was I getting what I deserved?

I contemplated it a great deal. Reviewed life and all the tough times I had experienced. And more often than not I realised that each of those times had gifted me something. I may not have seen it at the time, in fact it may have been some time after that I realised, but on reflection, each one had added to my life. Helped me transform, grow through a situation. Stretched my thinking, perception and myself.

I came away with the mantra that ‘life provides’.

Sometimes it provides sparkles, bubbles and bows. Other times it’s messy, uncomfortable and feels like a sledge hammer. But there is so often an opportunity to learn. Grow. Evolve and transform through that process.

The ‘are you spiritual?’ question happened to be asked on the same day that I discovered that a peer had been in an accident.

Jean-Pierre de Villiers was on day 8 of a 10 day cycle challenge from John O’Groats in Scotland to Land’s End Landmark in Cornwall. He and his team had travelled over 880 miles by bike and were on the last few days of their ride, when unfortunately JP was run over by a disqualified driver who fled the scene.

The car (travelling up hill) hit him with such force that he went over the car, and flew over the barriers on the hill and was wedged in between a tree and the barrier that stops cars going off the side of the road. His bike was shattered into pieces.

He was Airlifted from North Devon to Plymouth hospital with two broken legs, an internal stomach injury and a broken arm.

He has been in ICU for two weeks.***

You can see from JP’s website just how positive he is.

You don’t need to spend long on any of his social media pages to hear his high energy vibes and the strength in his mindset.

In fact I met JP as we were speaking at the same event together in Birmingham, earlier this year. I had travelled there that day from York by train. JP has decided to run the 40+ miles from Derby to Birmingham. No reason. He just felt like it. The man has amazing energy and spirit.

We would both say that we were spiritual.

And yet we’ve both experienced tough experiences (his way more than mine!).

So what gives.

The problem with believing that being good = good results, is that it creates an under current of fear and tension, that I must do good or else. And if, or rather when, ‘bad’ stuff happens that must mean that I deserve it because I am a bad person. Could be perceived as me being punished.

Is life/nature really that discerning?

Nature documentaries seem to highlight that it’s not.

Not discerning or discriminating in anyway shape or form.

How many very cute baby animals have you seen die in a brutal way?

How many animals have you seen having a really tough time of it due to the weather?

Are they getting their just desserts because they are bad animals?

Or is that just life?

Nature/life is NOT that discerning.

And it’s the same with you.

The same with me.

And the same with JP.

He released his first video the other day, expressing his gratitude for the love, help and support he and his wife have received. In it he stated that he would ride his bike again. He will come back strong. But until then, ‘this is something he has to work through’

And that struck me.

When those tough times happen and they do, for all of us at different levels and in different ways. They are just something that you are facing/working through until you get to the other side. Whenever that might be. And that facing it, working through it, you have the opportunity to learn. The gift of growing isn’t pain free!

It has nothing to do with how spiritual you are.

How positive you are or whether you do good deeds or not.

I choose to do good deeds for myself and others, because I want to live in a world where people are kind to each other. And so I lead by example.

I choose to think in a more positive than negative way, because thoughts impact how I feel. And I want to feel good more often.

And I choose to see the sh*t hitting the fan or life’s curve balls as something I too am working through. I have a chance of seeing the lesson that is on offer. And grow through and from that.

So, what choices are you making?

Regardless of whether you are ‘spiritual’ or not 😉

P.S.     JP, like myself, IS his business and therefore him being out of action for sometime will have financial implications. There will also be physio, health, legal and other fees involved in his recovery. If you are able to and wish to support him then please feel free to visit his Go Fund me page

*** Yesterday JP posted a new video. He is up and moving! The man is a power house. He is out of intensive care and there is even talk of him going home this week to continue his care treatment and recovery from there!! Go JP!