How to Boost Your Confidence

How to boost your confidence!

Have you ever had one of those days when life looks rosy? You feel that you can achieve all that you want to and all you can hear is yourself saying ‘yes I can do that or at least I will give it a go!’ And yet the very next day (or even the next moment) you feel the opposite! Life’s hard, you doubt yourself and your abilities and it feels as if self confidence has left the building!

I know this feeling only too well myself and spent much of my life experiencing this frustrating fluctuation in self belief and confidence.

Here are my top three tips for you to begin to understand how you can boost your confidence in any moment. Before I share them with you, I need to give a brief understanding that no-one gives or takes confidence away from you. I appreciate that it can feel like that, but it is not what the person has said that ‘makes you feel confident’ it is how you are reacting inside to those words. The reason I say this is that I want you to realise that you are the one with your finger on the ‘boost control’ not someone else. If you are waiting for someone else to ‘give you confidence’ then there will also be a part of you that is waiting for someone to ‘take it away’! It is your reaction to the words or actions that someone says/does that creates the feeling of confidence and so when feeling not so confidence you can use these tips, put your finger on the boost button and look for ways to feel confident no matter what someone else has said or done (or not as the case may be).

Forward Focus

If you have ever thrown a ball then you will have learnt or been taught that for the ball to reach its destination you have to point your arm in the direction you want the ball to go. Your mind and your feelings are the same.

If you want to feel more confident then you have to focus your mind in that direction and look for it in yourself. If you are feeling that you lack confidence, what are you focused on? I imagine it will be on what you haven’t done well, what you haven’t got, not achieved, didn’t get to do etc. Notice what happens if you choose to change your focus.

Take 15 minutes or so and make a list of all that you have achieved in life. Starting from when you were born, write at least 5 things for each decade that you have been alive. E.g. I learnt to walk, I can talk, feed myself, I can swim, I can ride a bike, I passed test, I got a part time job… the list goes on

The more you focus on what you have achieved, what you can do and what you have the more your mind will look for on a daily basis so that when you have those moments of not feeling so great, your list is there as a reminder to re focus and move forward!

Upwards and Onwards

I am sure you will have noticed those times when you don’t feel great about yourself that it is easy to pull the duvet over or switch on the TV and basically not do very much. Ask yourself now, just how is that working for you? I suspect it feeds that feeling of not feeling great.

If you want to feel great get up and move! Dance, walk, swim, run, even doing the house work with your favourite music on can help shake your mood. The more you move your body the more you can help boost yourself. It isn’t about getting up and going for a ten mile jog, unless that is your thing. Just get up and walk around the block with a bit of pace helps shift your mood and boost how you feel.

Being kind

Many of us that want to boost our confidence spend a great deal of time putting ourselves down. I ask again, how does this help to you feel great about yourself?

Any adult that has watched a child learn to walk knows that they have to fall over at times to learn about balance, to gain stability and gain the courage to take the next steps. If you are the adult watching them do this you will I suspect be encouraging them, supporting them and helping them back up each time they fall. What would you life look like and how would your confidence feel if you tool the same attitude to yourself? Each time you ‘fell’ you encouraged yourself to get up and have another go?

‘Be kind to yourself’. It’s an easy thing to say not so easy to do I know and like the other tips take patience and practice and yet when you do, then you really do get to boost your own confidence, which is what you want to do after all, is it not?

Remember, believe in yourself your life depends on it!