‘Stuff’ will never make you feel enough!

It’s been wonderful whirlwind the last few weeks with work. I have been all over the country delivering trainings and my new talk ‘How infectious are you?’ where I share my patient journey from 2018. And the impact your focus and attitude can have on your life and those around you. Read a review of it here.

I have also been visiting coaching clients too. Although I have a fabulous office in York, it’s nice to get out and about visiting them in their natural habitat.

It does mean that plenty piles of ‘to sort later’ have been created both at home and in the office.

The best time to sort it all was as I was going along or last week.

The next best time, is now!

I have to confess though, this is something I love to do.

Sort things out.

Declutter.

Get rid of things that no longer serve a purpose in my world. I realise that for many this isn’t so easy.

Some find it a challenge. Others find it hard. And some find it impossible to let go. Get rid of things that they are no longer using. That they no longer love. That process, for me, is fascinating.

It’s possibly one of the reasons I have been drawn to the wonderful world of coaching! Whether it’s physical things, people or situations. Or even habits, beliefs or thoughts. Watching how people hold on and resist the letting go process amazes me.

I have had a few brave people invite me into their homes to help with decluttering – not my usual service. I am not after all Marie Kondo!

If you have no idea who Marie Kondo is check out her bestselling book – The Life Changing magic of tidying.

One of her basic philosophies is to question whether the things you have bring you joy.

Now I don’t describe it that way, nor do I take people through the beautiful rituals that she does. However, the essence behind my decluttering (both inside and out!) though is the same.

If the thing is useful and I use it, I keep it.

If the thing is loved and lights me up, I keep it.

If the thing is neither of the above it goes. Either to a friend, ebay, charity shop, car boot, recycling or bin.

And this is where the resistance tends to come in when I am working with others – either the physical stuff or the habits, beliefs and thoughts.

Let’s stick with the physical stuff first, as I think it’s easier to grasp.

Many people get caught in the ‘but what if…’ mode.

…what if I need it in the future.

…what if my kids need it.

…what if someone else wants to borrow it.

…what if my life changes without it there.

These are all excuses and justifications to hold on to the past and be in the mindset of lack and fear.

The way I moved on from this was have a place that I could put things that I couldn’t see them – garage, shed, loft etc. And if in 3 – 6 months, I could not remember what was there, then it goes. Either to a friend, ebay, charity shop, car boot, recycling or bin.

Now I find it much easier to let go. And I am more in alignment with Marie’s question of ‘does it bring you joy’ I notice what happens in my body. For me it’s a sinking or light sensation that helps me get clarity, and I do not let the thinking brain get involved.

If Marie’s style doesn’t float your boat then the Minimalists might.

It’s a similar view point, that we have far too much stuff that we do not need.

There are parallels between the clutter we can see and the clutter we can’t.

You know. That clutter in our heads that we have become so used to distracting and hiding from, but is still there. We try to forget that it’s there. But then, like the cupboard that is rammed full or the floor pile that keeps growing, one day it’s all going to fall on us or we will trip right over it. And it seems as if the world comes crashing down. We have a choice, to work harder at avoiding it. Running from it. Hiding. Or we put the work in and step by step face it.

What I have noticed when I do these Spring cleans either for myself or with others, is that there is always a sense of relief and gratification with every step along the way. Often a lightness too. A sense of freedom.

What we hold onto in the external world can often mirror the habits, beliefs and thoughts we are holding on to in the internal world. Imagine just by you taking the time, to let go, stop holding on to what you no longer need, just how much lighter and freer your life could be.

How much easier it will be to prioritise. Think. Make decisions.

All with a Spring clean!…inside and out!

I would love to know you thoughts on this and whether you used either Marie or the minimalists’ method, or maybe you have one of your own? Please share below.

And of course if you are looking for support with that internal Spring clean, message me direct jules@juleswyman.com and let’s have a conversation about how best I can help you right now.

Until then….happy clearing!