What to do when you ‘fall’

One of the most iconic moments in the original Superman movie is when he first appears and catches Lois Lane as she falls from a skyscraper.

“Easy Miss, I gotcha.” states the flying hero

Shocked Lois replies “You, you got me. Who’s got you?”

You can watch the scene here 

Who’s got you?

The question of ‘who’s got you’ has stuck with me for years and has become a regular one that I ask busy, overwhelmed and stressed people, as these people are often so busy taking care of business and others – family, friends, work colleagues etc, and they forget to ask for help or often are not even open to it!

When asked “who’s got you?” many look quizzically at me and ask “What do you mean?”

I mean who’s got you?

Who supports you?

Who takes the time to listen to you.

To be your sounding board?

Be with you in those tough times?

Help you to find solutions?

Stops you wallowing in problems?

[bctt tweet=”No matter where you are on the career ladder or even if you are not on it, we all need that someone who has ‘got us’. We all need a ‘superman’ to catch us at times. Who’s got you?” username=”juleswymanuk”]

It may be our partner/spouse or family member. A colleague, boss or mentor. It may even be a masseuse, yoga teacher, therapist or, of course, a coach. It doesn’t matter who it is or whether it is paid or free. 

What is important is that you have someone.

Someone who had no agenda.

Can listen without judgement and be objective to your situation.

In the fast paced world that we are living in we have become reliant on technology (email, text and social media) to stay in touch with people. But as more and more research is being done on the impact of technology we can see how much it’s become an addiction. And it’s creating more of a sense of disconnect than the perceived connection.

And with this the expansion of tech’ we have become even more distracted when we are with people.

We are not really listening.

We are not focused on the person right in front of us!

And this sense of not being heard, not feeling connected to others can create anxiety and stress. A perception of being lonely and not understood. A sense of disconnection.

So what can you do?

Firstly make sure that you have at least one person in your life that is your ‘Superman’ – no lycra required! Someone who can be there for you when it feels like you are falling. When things are overwhelming or you feel lost, stressed or confused.

We can all have moments when it seems like this, times when we are falling. Whether that be through overwhelm, pressure, change or curve balls at work or in your personal life. We all have times when it can feel like the rug has been pulled from under our feet and we’re falling, flailing.

Many scramble for balance but that is an illusion which is unhelpful – read last month’s blog post. So make sure that you have that person/s in your life who you can turn to, who really will catch you in those moments.

There are of course things that you can do to help yourself and connect with you at a deeper level too.

Journalling is one of them – either with writing or your chosen art form.

It’s a great way to get whatever is in your head out, which provides your brain with the opportunity of seeing it for the first time (whatever ‘it’ may be)

The rule when journalling is to do it judgement free. No self criticism required. In fact BAN IT!

Just give yourself anything from 5 mins to express yourself in your chosen way and then take a metaphorical step back and be your own ‘Superman’.

Care for that person who has expressed themselves as you would someone that you adore. Talk to them as if they are your own best friend.

Go on, I dare you!

And if writing is not your thing, draw/paint/sing it. It’s just for you so doesn’t matter what it looks like. I personally have found painting a way of meditating and finding connection with myself in busy times. Writing and expressing yourself creatively has been used for hundreds of years as a way to help people through tough times. So set some time aside and get creative. Remember it doesn’t have to look good, or be seen/read by anyone else, it’s just for you!

If journalling or drawing is not for you, take time to do something you loved doing when you were a kid. (about 7 years old)  Build something from lego, spin around til you fall over, play on the swings, dance and sing your heart out, create something out of plasticine. It really doesn’t matter what. Find something that brings a smile to your face and heart and connect with you. And then from that place look at your situation.

A change in physiology is so powerful and empowering. Sometimes a good laugh is all you need to shift your perception to see what is possible in difficult situations.

If you need some help….CLICK HERE 

Whether your ‘Superman’ is a person that you spend time with or you use one of the other methods to help yourself, make sure that you make it a regular thing – at least once a month – because all too often people wait until things get really bad before they ask for help. Ask for the help before it gets to that stage. Hopefully this will help you build even greater resilience to deal with the curve balls that life throws….because it does!